an open letter to 2008

1356h
pj's coffee & tea co.

dear 2008,

does me cowering on the algiers levee like a raving lunatic while inebriated men in baseball caps set off awe-inspiring numbers of bottle rockets count as going out with a bang or a whimper? or both? no matter.

i've had a few days to try missing you. and you know what, 2008? i can't miss you if you won't go away. i see you everywhere i go: in my car that still needs a side view mirror from that time a tree branch fell on it. in the job i still don't have. in the fantastic boy i still haven't met despite my continued attempts to get myself drunk and easy to take advantage of. in the terror-producing volume of coffee i consume every day. on the flying car i was promised and still have seen neither hide nore hair of.

so you're on notice, 2008. i've got a notary on retainer and i'm just about ready to pull the trigger on a restraining order.


speaking of which. you know who really shouldn't be considering a restraining order? the jolie-pitts.

xxoo,
urbanity