Friday, January 2, 2009

an open letter to 2009

dear 2009,

i have to admit that i am starting your reign with a bit of sorrow as you are the last aught i will ever know (unless, of course, i finally get around to finishing my cryongenic chamber) and i can't help but wonder what i will do with my last twenty-oh-year. will i lose weight? quit smoking? learn to tango? will this be the year that i finally get a helper monkey? the possibilities are endless. actually, they're limited to 365 1/4 days. shit - 364. 362...what day is this? whatever. the point is this - the paperwork required to legally aquire a helper monkey is too vast to complete before 2010. another dream shattered.

speaking of shattered dreams, i have yet to run into a jolie-pitt this year.

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