this afternoon i was terribly excited to learn of the existence of a cuco's mexican restaurant in the city of new orleans as i previously assumed that they were all closed. we packed up the kids and drove out, the whole way explaining to beatrice that we were going to lunch! with chips! and crayons! she was quite looking forward to the event, which was nice because she woke up this morning insisting that we go visit the 'moose' again (reindeer).

so in we go to cuco's only to be told that they had no crayons. i asked the friendly hostess if she had a spare pen or pencil since i'd talked up the fact that the kid was going to color and was told that 'it is cuco's policy to NOT distribute pens/pencils/crayons to children anymore. they mark up the walls.'

what?!? this is NOT a fancy restaurant. this restaurant makes applebees look 4 star. the walls - those precious precious not-to-marked-upon structures - are oddly painted stucco with bits of old lettuce stuck to 'em. the whole place smells like pee but damned if they don't make a happy mexican meal. so what with the no crayon policy? and why on earth do they continue to provide paper kids menus with activities like 'help mr. taco shell find his missing guacamole' maze? how are kids supposed to help mr. taco? how?!? i promptly found a pencil in the car and invited bea to scribble obscenities on the wall. sadly, she doesn't know how to spell. also sadly, she is only 3 and therefore woefully incapable of helping mr. taco.

this evening i offer a stern warning to the owners of cuco's - the jolie-pitts have lots of kids and i bet all 67 of 'em like to color. you will NEVER EVER GET A JOLIE-PITT in your restaurant until your repeal your nazi stance on crayons.